this is what it feels like. like the first drop of rain at the end of a long sun shined months on end. this is how getting better feels like. this is what its like to be me, running. running and running. with prayers sent up at accelerated speed to the Man in the sky we’ve all heard of. to be me is to run, long, wide distance but the blur of my surroundings, the same. every few steps, the...
onlinejournals: Maybe worry carries us through.
cozmiclove: So she bbmed me for an impromptu lunch. At that time we had just woken up, each alone in our beds. Baked rice/pasta was alright but just the meetup over lunch made my week it’s like w her I can tell her anything. No judgements no lies. Then we went to her mum’s for facial & some bam-lovin’ before I left to meet mine for a fashion show. You’ve been a wonderful friend caxs, thank...
everything will be fine.
and so i tell myself WHAAAA?
vissi d'arte, vissi d'amore
so tired. so painful. I don’t feel any better.
Why do I not feel any better. When does better start.. I’ve been through this before so why does it feel worst now. Why do I feel I’ll never feel okay again
Yes I would die fo you baby, but you won't do th...
With each tear that I cry, my World feels like its tearing apart..wider and deeper.
0511hrs I'm yesterday's news
I only pray I sleep for a long long time. That I’ll wake up really really late. That I’ll wake up feeling new. Now I’m worn out & used.
last year april. how is it i dont recognize myself anymore. where have i gone to and how do i get me back. i spent the entire day in bed. literally. jo came to accompany me and we’re both in bed, using our comps. i switched off my bbm cuz i am in no mood to face the world. i finally just switched it on. everything is coming in now. i still dont wna talk. i still dont wna talk. im hurting...
2200hrs my bestfriend is coming to save me
caxs: Jo. You tell me what to do now. You tell me and I'll do it. Cuz I can't decided if stayg or leavg is easier, is better. I can't think anymore. So you think fo me. What do I do
ju: I'm otw
rattleyourbones: You may tire of me, as our december sun is setting, because I’m not who I used to be.
Pretty pretty face but you seem so brainless.. yes...
jo : right and you have brains? dumb fuck behind a computer screen. caxs: angst sia you. hahahhahaha wait, so my brother hits me cuz i am pretty but brainless? and that i have a vagina? hahahahaha no wonder youre calling me brainless. and i was calling you a vagina, not telling you i have one. who’s the brainless one here? and one last thing, i didnt mean to call you a cb, but think...
Sometimes he makes me so mad I wanna just throw...
rattleyourbones: Better never to have met you in my dream, than to wake and reach for hands that aren’t there.
Last night someone asked me what was it you have that no one else could replace.. I sat there with th music dissipating.. I don’t even know.
timm: Ain't it such a bitch knowing what's best but yet u fail to execute it knowing u will a happier person
caxs: Sometimes th best doesn't exactly makes you a happier person
timm: "sometimes" is th key word here my dear
caxs: ahh.true too.
As soon as I stepped in th club, th first thought that floats through my head “I can do this”. It seems blank to me how fun turned out to be something I am starting to struggle with. I sat there with my fingers numb from th icy glass I hesitated for a long while. By th time I down a lil, then a lil more, the lyrics seemed huge in my face rather than th spotlights and dizzy people...
Dear World, my ghewart aches. Luieke fuck.
After 698543567896YEARS, I’m finally headg out again, to Jo’s first now. I’m thinkg maybe I’m going back t my wasted nights. Th heart is weak, my heart is weak. Its Friday night, Rebel like before.
DONT FUCKING MESS WITH ME. I WILL SHOW YOU WHAT IM...
Don't let go, don't runaway love. Still have th...