I thought that ending things with you, before they even started, would finally give me closure and that I would finally feel like this was over. But I can’t help but feel nostalgic for all the things that I wanted to do with you, all the places I wanted to go… nostalgic for the people that I thought we were going to be. It’s hard for me to let go of the notion of us and everything I thought we would’ve and could’ve been.
Your not ready for a relationship cass. But then again, you’re not ready to be alone. That’s why you feel the way you do.
So I tell you what..learn how to play computergame..play with me.
I saw your face after a long time yesterday. Below your block, always th same after all these years..how I used t be in that white shirt and navy skirt too long fo my height, school bag too big fo my body, my heart too big fo your good. Last night I sat at th exact spot thinking how nothing have changed after these years, how my hopes and fears remained constant or perhaps how it have escalated..
You..on both knees. When your hand reached mine, I didn’t mean to shun but then again, maybe I I did. Maybe I did mean t push you away cuz it felt awful. To kno th same pair have grazed another, many others. The words that came and came…the alibis, the beliefs, the misunderstood stories, the years, the begging…the 3 words.
I sat there with anger and a betrayed heart.. I left with too much contradictions in my mind.
I’m too tired. I’m so sick and so very tired of every rumor, every lie, everybody’s twofuckincents I never asked for.
I’m too tired to believe. too tired to love.
The bandaged finger is getting me dizzy. There’s work tomorrow. gn.
This always happens. This.
Someone would tell someone. A friend of someone. A friend of mine who’s acquainted with someone. The kiss and tell. The tell-tale signs.
This always happens.
You always break my fucking heart. You make me hurt so bad right now.
Taylor Swift, morning rays, morning breeze, naked roads, 140km/hr, completed th night.
gnight now..I believe my broken heart will heal in time to come. Still, th longing won’t go away jz yet.
Jo jz left. I am finally alone. In this house, in this bed.
Your name again, flashing on my phone. I need t catch my breath. This is hard.
When purple and blue lights started flashing off…
Now I’m in bed with this fucking bad head spins and lightnings are reminding me its hard t be alone in this bed on a night like this. But I gta be strong. I gta be strong.
in 4hrs time, full day shoot. I feel really sick. Sore throat. Blocked nose. My head is bursting.
- caxs: I miss him. Its not wrong right.
- Ju: obviously, you're with th guy fo 7years
- caxs: I don't even remember the last time we kissed or hugged. Anything. I don't remember it.
- Ju: which shows how bad it already was la.
- caxs: you know what kills me. I go home and look at my bed and realise he'll never lay in it again, its things like that. Not our memories that really upsets me but th its things that I realize will never happen with him again.
thought I can keep myself from feeling this way, guess that was my first mistake.